Carl: 2594 books

Tasha O'Burke, the President's vampire daughter, gives birth to a baby boy who shows great promise to grow into a powerful member of the clan. From the moment he's born, he shows a lusty desire for blood, but the Washington Ghouls see him as a bargaining chip to get what they want - more and more...

You're All Idiots, Pineville continues the saga of the oddest town on earth that was begun in Come After Me to Pineville. To the shock and delight of the entire town, Mayor Letz Holdemtite, who has ruled for over 100 years, dies in a shootout of rat poisoning. At his funeral, the participants mock...

Nothing but odd news comes out of Pineville, as these short, satirical pieces of fake journalism prove. If you visit these pages, you'll read of a place where birds abduct obese children and put them on enforced diets, where the President of the United States comes to visit and lunches on a dog he...

After the final, monumental battle with the vampires and the resurrections of her husband and brother, Maggie awakens one morning with her back propped up against a tree on the side of the mountain with Mabin and Tommy nowhere to be found. She searches for them, and they seem to appear magically,...

During the Iraq War, a squad of soldiers comes upon some collateral damage, a little girl dressed in a white burqa at the bottom of a blast crater. When they discover she speaks English and Arabic, they decide to take her with them on a rogue combat mission, despite the danger that presents to her...

Auntie Claus, Santa Claus' aunt, is an evil, magical elf who has always failed to ruin Christmas in the past, but now has the help of Malicious, who as the opposite of an elf is a self, and the Madison Avenue public relations firm of Steelman, Kreepo and Konmen. Together, they plan on destroying Christmas...

With the Devil on his deathbed, he decides to indulge in a final literary effort to clear his name and put the blame for all the madness and cruelty in the world where it belongs, on humans. He offers up this little book of evil stories that detail the violent, twisted, sick souls of people, noting...

Gwendolyn Gladys Gavin, the hideous and quirky Blue Mountain witch, has a young son she doesn't much like, and she lets him know it in no uncertain terms, such as informing him she might still abort him, even though he's already born. She has that sort of power. Of course, being a witch requires some...

The Stolen Child is a novella of one day in the life of a boy in the 1950s, a day that defines his existence from then on. It begins with a kiss from a girl and ends with a devastating insight into his mother's life, a life that has veered tragically off-course after the death of a soldier in World...

When a boy from Ireland finds a little man dragging a chest of gold across a forest floor, he mistakes him for a leprechaun. He is granted wishes, but all the wishes go terribly wrong, so wrong that the two of them end up on the moon chased by a crocodile. They blast off and return to a crash landing...

For Halloween, a free poem about rebellious pumpkin Aloysius, who hears rumors of what humans do to pumpkins and flees the patch in a panic, only to discover where his heart lies.

A successful Hollywood producer returns home to New Jersey after a couple of divorces and the subsequent burn-out that attends a high-voltage career. Her overly controlling parents think she back to piece her life back together under their tutelage, but they discover an angry, impatient woman who...

After a ghost is refused entrance to heaven he's kicked down to earth by a gigantic blue angel with the flu. He's been dead for ten years and has nowhere to go but home. Once there he discovers he can re-materialize if he wishes hard enough. Seeing his two adopted children does the trick, but they're...

Helen has a face and figure that could launch a thousand ships, but a sexual disposition that could sink them all. An illness reveals to her the bland life she's been leading, and she transforms into a new raucous sexual being, a horny comedian intent on passion. A bland boyfriend, a crazy horse racing...