Solomon: 694 books

**　　「生命因困苦而豐富，愛則因為必須努力而深刻。」** **　　「珍貴的並不是苦難本身，而是我們對苦難如同珍珠般的包容。」** 　　養兒育女，絕不是完美主義者的遊戲。 　　西方有個諺語：「蘋果落地，離樹不遠」，也就是「有其父必有其子」。但事實卻是，世上有許多孩子都落到了別處，可能是幾座園子外，也可能落到世界的另一端，完全背離父母的預期和想像，而這些家庭也因此走入完全不同的人生。 　　作者窮盡十年時間，針對三百個擁有異常孩子的家庭進行深入且多次的拜訪：聽力正常的父母生出聾人後代、芭蕾舞者生出侏儒女兒、華爾街寵兒生出唐氏症寶寶、異性戀父母生出同性戀、平庸的父母生出神童、慈愛的基督徒父母生出連續殺人犯，以及自閉症、殘障、跨性別、思覺失調（舊譯：精神分製），甚至因姦成孕生下的孩子……這本書就是探討這些掉到另一個世界的果實，他們作為與家庭成員及社會大眾都格格不入的差異分子，如何尋找自我的身分認同，同時也探討了為人父母的重大意義。 　　這些離樹甚遠的果子與親代毫不相像，沒有從垂直的血緣關係遺傳到相同的外型、能力、智商或性向，因此也無法從傳承自親緣關係的「垂直身分」獲致身分認同。他們很多必須從同樣類型的同伴之間獲致「水平身分」，才能尋找到身分認同。垂直身分是社會對他們的認知，水平身分是他們對自己的認知，而當這兩種身分認知出現巨大鴻溝，父母往往得用肉身造橋，才能橫渡這條如深淵般的惡水。 　　這些父母一開始大多無法接受這樣的孩子，也不確信自己是否能勝任父母的角色。在生與不生、親自養育與送至安置機構之間痛苦地掙扎徬徨，許多人憑藉著對孩子的情感，激發出內在無與倫比的想像力、創造力以及愛的能力，去為孩子爭取生存的空間，而且以一種有尊嚴、有意義的姿態存活下來，從而重新發現為人父母的重大意義。 　　作者開宗明義提到：「從來就沒有複製這回事。」所有的生育都是一種製造，沒有子代會完全複製親代。在訪查過程中，他也見識了父母最深沉的絕望、瀕臨崩潰的邊緣。這些父母原先千方百計要避免這樣的處境，卻被迫拖入原先並不願意進入的世界，然而，最後他們卻對此滿心感激──這是本書最大的謎題。 　　這些與眾不同的孩子會讓父母經歷痛苦的改變，但也讓父母更了解自己。孩子就像容器，裝著憤怒也裝著喜悅，甚至救贖。愛孩子，就會把實際存在的事物看得比想像中的事物還重要。 　　他並未要求所有父母都得堅強樂觀地面對孩子帶來的挑戰，而是不帶偏見、平和地訴說這些家庭所經歷的艱難，並對父母在愛中的掙扎寬厚以待。作者並不頌揚苦難，他透過本書告訴我們，珍貴的並不是苦難本身，而是我們對苦難如同珍珠般的包容。 　　這是本兼具心理學和社會學意義的專著，而很少人能把意義如此嚴肅的研究寫得如此溫柔、動人而心碎，而這正是因為作者在書寫他人的經歷時，也注入了自己的生命經驗，並反思自己傷痕累累的人生。作者身為同志，他在摸索「我是誰」的過程中讓母親驚心，父親憂慮，雙方皆飽受折磨。這是他進行這項研究的初衷，藉由探查其他差異份子的家庭，試圖了解這樣的傷害究竟是源於個人、家庭，還是社會？ 　　作者自述：「展開這項研究時，我滿腹委曲；結束時，我學會寬容。一開始我想了解的是自己，到最後我了解的是父母。在這一頁頁的書寫中，幸福激發了寬恕。父母總是在愛中原諒我，而我最後也在愛中原諒了父母。」 　　願所有讀者都能在本書中找到愛所需要的勇氣，並在釋卷後，以全新的眼光去評判個人價值及生命價值。 本書特色**（編輯小語）** 　　封面的黑影，以及周身的水紋，第一眼讓人聯想到的，是在胎兒在母腹中的超音波影像。父母在看到超音波影像時的心情，是興奮、期待，充滿對未來的想像。那必定是一幅很美好的景象，縱使知道其中會包含很多辛苦和勞碌，仍舊在看到影像的第一眼就注入了滿滿的感情。 　　但他的真實面目，不是儀器可以看得出來的，未來必定有太多「意外」以及無限「驚訝」等著。那就是為何孩子的影像會是個黑影，也一定要是個黑影。 得獎與推薦記錄 　　「在《背離親緣》一書中，安德魯．所羅門在在提醒我們，在孩子成長的過程中，沒有什麼是比父母的愛更有力量。」──前美國總統柯林頓 **　**　「安德魯．所羅門充滿原創力，他的寫作能為21世紀人類的權利宣言，打下一段充滿智性的基礎。人類不論種族和宗教，皆具有生存、自由以及追求幸福的權利，往後，這項權利還要擴充，人類不論具備何種身分認同，都具有心理上獲得接受的絕對權利。」──Eric...

This title was first published in 2000:  The continent of Africa is undergoing great change. While on the one hand there is talk of a re-awakening of Africa or Renaissance various countries in Africa are still plagued by poverty, intra- and interstate violence. In some countries the legacy of neo-colonialism...

I am a professor of psychology specializing in abnormal psychology. Additionally, I am a practicing psychotherapist. Over the years I realized the most frequently asked questions about psychiatric illness focused on anxiety. Specifically, anxiety associated with phobias. Practically everyone is afraid...

In this e-book, The Language of Love you will read about 23 tips which will set you on your way to building families who see it through in good or bad times, when life is sunny and when days are troubled. Because living in sound relationships is not only good for your health, it's important...

Now in its second edition, Fifty Key Thinkers in International Relations has been thoroughly updated with several new entries and a new preface to reflect the latest developments. There are new sections on Constructivism, International Political Theory, and English School, as well as a range of new...

Snapshots of Judy-ism: Part 2 has four focuses: one, to bring awareness to the Christian, to the Gentile, and to the Jew of the boundaries and borders (not barriers) upon which the Torahs Seven Laws of Noah and their sixty-six extrapolations expound; two, to bring attention to the rate of voluntary...

A celebration of Jewish men's voices in prayer—to strengthen, to heal, to comfort, to inspire from the ancient world up to our own day. "An extraordinary gathering of men—diverse in their ages, their lives, their convictions—have convened in this collection to offer contemporary,...

This book recognizes the problem areas and concerns of each institution or social force. We must recognize, acknowledge, support and encourage the primary function of each institution and will recognize and establish a working relationship with the leaders of each institution and will come to an agreement...

Does God exist? Throughout history, ancient and modern civilizations have believed in some form of god. Yet, there have been over 1,100 different gods and still nobody knows why there is so much man-made evil in the word, genocides and Holocausts, brutality and violence just to mention a few - all...

Life is a battle field and full of storms. For someone in the middle of your storm, hear the word of the Lord; Jesus said: "Let us go over to the other side..." Youve got to make it, there is somebody on the other side of your storm who needs you to make it. I dont know what kind of fire...

This book is unique in its kind. It is the first scholarly work to attempt a comprehensive and fairly detailed look into the lingering legacies of the communist totalitarian modes of thought and expression in the new discourse forms of the post-totalitarian era. The book gives also new and interesting...

Give it up already! states a concerned friend about my fret over the decreasing Jewish numbers. I cannot, considering the longest-running hatred toward the Jewlet alone the general challenges of poverty, weather, and family and national associations, or even when the Jew is doing well. We Jews need...

90% of royalties go to law enforcement charities. 2015 National Indie Excellence Award Non-Fiction Book of the Year 2015 Public Safety Writers Association 3rd Place Non-Fiction Book of the Year True stories of what is happening in hearts and minds of law enforcement. A way to see them as what they...

When sports journalist Denison Brown visits a hypnotherapist to help him quit smoking, he has no idea of the journey on which he is about to embark. Whilst his efforts to give up tobacco fail miserably, he does attempt to answer a long-debated sporting question, who is the greatest heavyweight boxer...